rhymes - headphonetherapy

rhymes ... the lub of my life and the bane of my existence

media

Lyrics from the upcoming album
As random and horridsauce as they are, all rhymes are © 2003, 2004 by Theresa Vu. Except, of course, the ones written by Derek. :)

Invisible Scars (If You Think)

Random Rhymes
Disclaimer: Some of these were written after 4am, so yes, there are elements of delerium present. I'm aiite though, promise. That being said, please no emails comparing my mental stability to IKEA furniture with your shrink's number discretely enclosed. ;) Peace.

We Will Not Be Moved

Theresa Vu:
i'm sick of silence, sick of being voiceless
they stigmatize us, the bitterest of poisons
we gotta fight it, no living in avoidance
aint u sick a suffering the bitter disapointment?
"hell yeah", then join Us, trust in our tactics
prove we aint moving like rush hour traffic
i had it, the madness, i literally shook
hearin tales never told in a history book
caught in misery's hook, seeing, faces screaming
fathers gettin slaughtered, daughters raped and beaten
all the while weeping, mothers sittin' stunned
clutchin dog tags that belong to they son
now the fight has begun, the silence is over

this is for our culture! this is for our soldiers!
this is for the lives sacrificed on the road ta
peace and prosperity, its theirs to redeem
shattered, broken battered, the american dream
noniexistent, we living in a system, consistent
with prisons, restrictin our wishes and visions
so listen, we had it rough, we had enough
the pain has added up and now we rattled up

CHORUS:

WE WILL NOT BE MOVED
take us to the brink, call us chinks and gooks
WE WILL NOT BE MOVED
i refuse to live my life so confused
WE WILL NOT BE MOVED
detachment or action you've got to choose
WE WILL NOT BE MOVED
generations overdue now we got to prove

Direct:
Sometimes I don't know who I am, maybe I'm a freak,
cuz even Asians, man, they be giving me heat.
Cuz you see, I'm Chinese, but Chinese I can't speak.
I only know English, I guess that makes me unique?
Cuz I get no love, from my own people,
I'm a disgrace to my race, a culture-less individual,
Plus, i ain't the typical, model minority
Being a scholor intellectual aint my priority.

That's me, an ABC with no future.
My grades are shitty, even if I had a tutor.
I ain't good with books, that's just my nature.
But being Asian and all, must mean I'm a failure.
Cuz yo, that is what is expected
If u don't follow the trend, you ain't respected.
See even though I'm good at writing tracks and spittin raps,
I still get down played, for not being black.
As a matter of fact, yo, aint my skin yellow?
So what am I doin rapping? I should be playin the cello.
But really though, this is the kind of shit that I fuckin get,
Impressed I speak English without an accent.
Cmon, I'm getting sick, to my dick, with these stereotypes.
But I'm goin keep my head up, and just carry the mic.
and spit rhymes, til i'm dead, despite if it's right,
cuz this is one chink, that aint gonna follow the hype.
So follow me and fight and let me hear you say...

CHORUS

Direct:
Yo, I don't know all the answers
but i have hopes
you act like you dying from cancer, tied in ropes
you want shit to change, rearrange your mind first
then we can begin to lift this curse, cuz we..

T: Faceless, people living on the
D: Basis, that we evil in this racist
T: Place where we taste this
D: Discrimination
T: Damn, do I hate this
D: Man just erase this
T: Constant complacence
D: We constantly facing
T: A storm that's been raging
D: Inside these rib cages
T: And why?
D: Cuz we asian
T: We die for this nation
D: And cry for salvation

For lifetimes and ages.......

CHORUS

back to the top?

Schools of Thought

Direct:
Hip hop, in its current state, continues to keep on slipping.
It's not what it used to be ever since barely the beginning.
Shit's changing, the game's rearranging.
Blown and skewed out. So many MCs I could be fucking naming,
whose fake-ass, disrespecting, money-hungry rhymes
make me sick past my threshold. Shit, I can't take these times.
Mainstream's making my brain steam up in fucking fury.
The blood in my veins listen to raw music purely.
Untainted, painted perfectly like a picture.
A masterpiece created with every word that I spit ya.
See, I'm fearing one day, hip hop is gonna fall.
Like Linkin Park, beneath the skin, I will begin to crawl,
like a baby. Cuz I'll be helpless without true music.
Sell-outs need to quit the acting, stop the rapping, lose it.
Get off the radio and even the television crew.
Clear some airplay so we got real hip hop to listen to.

CHORUS:

Direct, Theresa Vu, Judy Tuan:
(Schools of thought)
Hip hop, what's going on?
You're like a stranger now, tell me what's gone wrong?
(Schools of thought)
Obviously, it bothers me hip hop has gone pop.
If we don't fix the rules of schools of thought...

Theresa Vu:
Everyday on the stereo, the airplay scenario
never changes, cameos with the same kids
and radio playlists frequently show
that superficial issues rule the frequency...yo
I ain't real, if that's your definition of real
cuz I don't roll in escalades on some twenty inch wheels
and most record deals? I'm neglecting them still
j otting on dotted lines effectively kills
your integrity, I ain't your average cat
passing that courvoisier bitch I pass it back!
cuz in this habitat, the stench is extensive
labels selling souls and legends never mentioned
its all a deception, they tempting consumers
to pay 14.99 to buy into illusions
if you love the music, negate the dark side
my heart tries, i'm torn in two like apartheid
sharp lies, can I make it in this business?
where industry is imagery and everything's a gimic?
from sex sells, to well fabricated lies
dignity's a casualty you ain't taking mine
nah you ain't taking mine...

CHORUS

Direct:
So, they say mainstream is maybe what made hip hop big,
that it took it out from underneath, and made it live.
Made hip hop popular, gave it a name, gave it fame,
made it accepted in this world. So really, can I complain?
Without the mainstream, how would we all hear it? The music.
Truth is, half the world wouldn't be exposed to it.
So, in actuality is mainstream a blessing?
Stepping hip hop even higher than the staircase to Heaven?
No, I wouldn't take it that far, that shit is just absurd.
I'll never leave its roots. Hip hop has got my word.
But hold up, let's take a moment, analyze the situation.
Gotta stop hating on music, the potent power of this nation.
I mean music is music, after all, I can't deny it.
But at least for myself, the games and gimmicks I would never buy it.
I'm glad rap can entertain, make money, and make you dance.
But when it comes to real music, mainstream don't stand a chance.

CHORUS

back to the top?

Magnetic North

Verse 1:

Theresa Vu:
I'm searching for polaris, but where is it?
Staring at precarious roads, so perilous.
My footsteps falter as I walk through the uncharted
lands but i understand, I can't alter

Direct:
or deviate from the path, that I need to take.
Or maybe there's a better way, to alleviate
the burdens of these lost souls, torn at these crossroads
no regrets, no remorse... Magnetic North.

CHORUS

I'm searching for polaris, but where is it?
(Something inside of me has guided me this far.)
I'm staring at these roads, so perilous
(And I believe despite of the alignment of the stars.)
Lead me to be free from, remorse
(There's a force more important on this course I'm setting forth.)
Finally I found my, Magnetic North
(So who care's about Polaris when there is Magnetic North.)

Verse 2:

Direct:
Somehow, trapped in this void of blackness,
I stay calm, relaxed, to avoid the madness
that's beyond, in my journey, what really lies ahead?
but as strong as I try to be, I cannot see through walls of lead.

So instead, I just keep moving in one direction.
Wherever my feet may guide me, I consciously walk blindly.
Afraid of every step, of every corner,
I hate the suspense, but my senses say go forward.

Cuz I can't afford ta, stray off the path.
And if I stay, I'll evade all the pain of my past.
Cuz I refrain, to go back, to the flames of my misery,
the darkness, the chaos, the stains (veins/chains/shames) of my history

But that's behind me, cuz now I found a new source
magnetic north, guide me, shine me a light on this course.
My driving force, in this race between fate and my own will
I won't yield, alone like a ronin I roam still.

CHORUS

Verse 3:

Theresa Vu:
I'm a slave to second guessing, it never lessens.
Plagued by my recollections, forever question,
the road I tread upon, the choices deliberated,
that's why at every divide, I'm hesitating...

on where to go, the scenarios are infinite.
On this road I chose can't predict the predicaments.
That's why I find myself drifting along,
just following the wind I'm inexpliquably drawn

on a, path to Babylon... when I suddenly
realize in my life Truth is a luxury.
The only thing I trust to discern all the lies,
the only stable point in these turbulent skies

is my, Magnetic North, all my reason's they start with you
my dreaming, if not for you, would seem so impossible.
And even through the obstacles you help me get home,
from the worthless adventures of these self destructive poems.

CHORUS

Theresa Vu:
I gotta learn to trust this, internal compass
before my mind is numb with, and overrun with
trepidation. Knowing every step I'm taking
can never be retraced so I pray my destination

Direct:
lies beyond these crossroads. And I don't know
which way I oughta go, cuz turning back is
not possible. Because the fact is,
whichever way that I move,
I'll lose the chance to see the other side of what I choose.

T: Cuz once I decide, I guess I'll never find out,
T: what lied behind the other route, I guess I'm blind now.
D: Cuz I can't see the road that approaches in front of me.
D: Even though I know this lonely road's the only one for me.

T: Cuz something inside of me has guided me this far.
T: And I believe, despite of thee alignment of these stars.
D: There's a force more important on this course i'm setting forth.
D: So who cares about polaris when there is Magnetic North.

CHORUS

back to the top?

Demons/Only 1

Verse 1

I'll never be the best son,
Or the perfect daughter,
At times I question
Why I bother
Cuz all the times
That I've tried to succeed
Has left me with nothing
But this need to believe
That these knees are strong enough
To walk these roads that are long and rough
even when my shining armor's scuffed
I keep moving,
to fight these inner demons,
That keep SCREAMING at me to REDEEM THEM

But this time... this is it.
This time... it's different.
This time... the bitterness of failure diminishes.
It's a clean slate, stop dreaming and wake
Cuz opportunity is staring, glaring me in the face
Forever, can't stop it, opportunity is knocking
Will the door open while I'm coping with these problems
Or will i waste it, so many times ive tasted
The bitter sweet tragedy, of my disgraces

It haunts me
It taunts me
It tears at my skin
Yo I barely can breathe cuz it's there in the wind
It rips through my rib cage
It slips through my fingers
I try to cure this curse but of course it still lingers

Afraid that my fate is, as dangerous as hate is.
But escaping, and not taking this chance, I won't make it.

Face it, mediocrity, is not an option
Throughout this eternity
We only got one...

CHORUS

Direct & Theresa Vu:
Life to make a mark (we only got one)
A mic to erase the dark (we only got one)
A shot to use these songs (we only got one)
A chance to prove you wrong (we only got one)

A pen, a pad, a voice (we only got one)
A goal, a path, a choice (we only got one)
A soul, a mic, a God (we only got one)
A chance, a life, a shot (we only got one)

Judy Tuan:
All of my, inner demons
They just won't die, they keep on screaming.
How do I, silence and defeat them?
But now's the time, for me to redeem them.

Verse 2

And yo I can't forget it, I can't let it
outta my head and set it, aside when life is hectic.
I need to keep steppin, in the, correct direction,
Magnetic, North's, the destination where i'm heading
So with this in perspective, it seems my dreams could be synthetic
until reality and fallacies get together and connected.
So it's about time I get credit, for my perpetual poetic
phonetics. Better call the medics, cuz Direct's about to wreck it.

With reckless abandon I'm used to demanding
the most from myself ... I'm supposed to prevail.
Cuz this ghost in my shell, is loud and persistent.
Telling me listen, "this coward's existence
is not for you, you were offered more
than to rot your youth behind an office door."
I need to get off the floor and find inspiration
this is not a song this is my validation

for breathing, the reason,
I'm, here on this surface.
No need to believe me
I, know i'm not perfect.
But fuck it, I'm trying
Yo e-nough with implying
That all of my work is,
words and just writing
It's more than us rhyming
we, fighting the silence
and silencing fears.
I'm tired and sick of hiding
from all my ambitions.
To hell with inhibitions!
They must be forgotten
Cuz yo we only got one

CHORUS

It lingers, on fingertips out stretched.
A shadow, that follows me without rest.
Regrets, the times that i failed ta
bounce back, from the wrath of my failures.

I've done that, but now I gotta be clutch,
My dreams approach, so close, damnit I can almost touch.
But if I fuck up, then I just might blow it all to pieces
It's all or nothing so help me Lord Jesus

and grant me the strength, to seize it the moment.
This pad and this pen is bleeding an ocean
ferocious, exploding in microphone poems.
I'm tied to this mic cord i know i would die for

this moment. I have to make it happen
I sacrificed half my life for this whole rappin
dream of mine, cuz hip hop's my only answer
music and rhymes, my soul's only chance ta

breathe, and become free from all of my barriers
believe in yourself, D, you can fucking carry your
own weight, don't let nobody slow you down
concentrate, hold your ground, c'mon, your time is now.

So throw away your fears and your deepest emotions,
your weakness your secrets your preconceieved notions
of failure, it's you against the world and I'ma tell ya
keep breathing, and don't you ever let em see you bleeding.

But T, do you mean it?

I mean it, with every ounce of my being.

Well let's do it then, cuz if not now then when?
This music, the hunger...they need to transcend

So FUCK DESTINY, it ain't written in stars.
It's written in rhymes, lines, and lyrical bars
We can't discard our endeavors, cuz they burn like a toxin.
It's now, or it's never, "cuz why?"
We only got one...

CHORUS

back to the top?

Invisible Scars (If You Think)

Direct:
Oh you gotta be kidding me... not again.
Did I possibly begin, to believe you were my friend?
These false prophecies of trust, they must, come to an end,
cuz I'm sick of dealing with and healing from this wicked trend

of me, placing faith in, people that be faking
promises they making. Then they try escaping?
Yo...
well if you thought you got away you were mistaken.

Cuz I will never forget, all you two-faces and phonies,
so-called homies, betraying, placing the blame on me only.
And then you call me the fraud, the enemy, and the fake???
I'm sorry God, but the best of me has turned into hate.

Because, over and over, people be burdening my shoulders
futhering my bad temper, turning me even colder,
than I, already am. Man, why do I just stand, here and
take this abuse when they misuse my lending hand?

This is the last time, the last moment,
that I will ever fall blind to your well-disguised motives.
So don't bother to explain, I won't even hear ya.
From now on, I trust no one, not even the man in the mirror.

CHORUS
Trust, no one again, yo,
no one's a friend.
If you think you found a comrade, you wrong, you all along had,
mirages as friends, their facades just pretend,
these invisible scars are the hardest to mend.
Trust, no one again, yo
no one's a friend.
If you blink for just one moment,
you're leaving yourself open, to get stabbed, count on it
the friends you had are counterfeit
how did the only thing I trusted in amount to this?

Theresa Vu:
So I sit here...
analyzing all the lies I thought were sincere...
every second of deception, how is this fair?
'Cuz I've always had your back,
rain or shine, nah I nevermind the forecast.
There I was, silly me, thinking there could really be
such a thing as make believe as simple reciprocity.
I know now, why I never trust entirely.
Somehow, I forgot, thank you for reminding me.
Therein lies the irony, you thickened my walls.
Yo, you knew every landmine you triggered them all!
Left these, infinite scars, how soon are they supposed to fade?
'Cuz I can still feel the wounds between my shoulder blades.
It's safe to say, in this world that we're living in,
friends and enemies are nothing more than synonyms.
As they appear, just reflections in the mirror,
keep your friends near, but your skepticism nearer.

CHORUS

Theresa Vu:
What's the use of pretending?
I'm used to pretenses.
I can see right through illusions of friendship...
or so I thought. But you're elusive intentions
are hard to spot. Now these useless defenses
are all I got. And I could not
believe, what was, beneath the surface.
Your mask was so perfect,
cleverly crafted, as if every action
was well rehearsed and effortless acting.
And back then, you even had the nerve to say
you had my back...have you ever observed the way
that you can act, when every mask is burned away?
You never had my back, you were clutching vertebrae!

Direct:
Dang I should've made, a better inspection
when I met you, to befriend you, or to question your friendship
Cuz I never could trust your character,
never shoulda shared with ya,
but now I know, to never lower my guarded barriers.

It's hard, I'm telling ya, to accept what you did,
Man I can't believe the bullshit you fools hid.
Yo you pushed me to the edge, and damn my battered shoulders
have had it... that's it, yo, it's fuckin OVA!

This friendship has ended, this kinship is finished.
I can't believe you hypocritical bitches just did this.
So fuck forgiveness, cuz yo you took it for granted
and your underhanded ways, are now, forever branded.
You understand this?

back to the top?

Ebony Ink
(this was originally written in ebony ink...not ebony verdana font, haha)

my memory's jinxed, flashbacks erupt in ebony ink//
thoughts i desperately think increase with every drink//
my reveries print, a picture which conflict with scriptures//
and clash with morals, i trash tomorrow with mixed elixirs//
of thickest liquors, what innocense n vigor?
ive seen too much, never forgettin enough//
plagued incessently by dreams that seem more than just a sub -
conscious manifest of visions hid under eyes//
when dreams make too much sense its time you wonder why//
ergo i throw asunder my, foolish trust in "just coincidence"//
denial leaves, while these, truths speak in slow increments//
of time, keeping me in suspense and im//
calm, clutching my palm for assurance of a lifeline//
its still there (not that it would disappear into thin air)
but in hell you can't be too sure (not that i'd been there)
or even close, in truth im just a joke//
an egotistical swine commitin crimes of the verbose...
but what do you know, you just look and you squint
reading barely legible lines of rhymes that i print
not seeing that its holding me at every brink
im an artist my carthasis is my ebony ink

To the top?

May 15

Dear J,
sorry i ain't written, but lifes got me trippin
parents are crazy, got no time for thinkin'
unanswered questions from pursuin perfection
feelin empty, perhaps chronic depression
but its all good, nothin new, just stressin'
so best'friend, whats up with your life?
what you been up to? new stuff ta describe?
its been a long time, haven't spoke for a while
sumtimes i think of yah and suddenly smile
just rememberin tha ish we usta do back when
life was nothing but atari and pacman
but i ain't complaining, im doing fine, for real
sometimes tho, i feel chills from tha rain on my window sill still
well...
yeah.. sorry i haven't kept in touch much
i honestly try but sometimes my lifes a mad rush
i hope yah understand, i know i promised to speak often
i just got business to take care of, i haven't forgotten
i write you a lot, honest, 'cept the letters i don' t send em
its all luv though.. i just don't know the zip code for heaven

miss yah man

To the top?

Yo Mama's Datsun

start speakin' your voice hoarse
cuz its time to show your stamina
20 bars.. where's ya heart, is you a pro or amateur?
i damage ya, mangle-tha, illusions which you fight for
the strangler, strangle ya with nooses made of mic cords
on white-boards, i write scores, igniting more than rhyme schemes
between the lines of lyrics lay subtle fragments of life dreams
thats my thing, the difference between me and other lyricists
a fearlessness to kick more than braggadoccio ego trips
...so
g'head and spit ya shit, i'm invinceable to mockery
the type to sip from poisoned drinks that caused the death of socrates
forget democracy, no one cares about your thoughts son
fake gangsta thugs chromin out they mama's Datsuns
you soft ones hide behind ya' ice and fall designers
writer's block?
...more like writer's great wall of china
cuz you got no liners, makin excuses for your dire straits
you liar's state: "Im not wack i'm an acquired taste"
so why you hate? tell me, who are you to speak?
true emcees... don't live on the edge of they computer seat
it's lunacy, you and me?, do you remain stupid?
you aint worth my mental...you're barely worth my brain fluid

To the top?

Not The Eyes
(this verse can be heard in Mind Over Matter)

these pages of rhymes, conveying the mind
there's a window to my soul but it ain't in my eyes
it hides, discrete, college ruled sheets
my whole life saved on four minutes of beats
that play on repeat, long and beyond
i put everything i got in the form of a song
when i'm on to perform that's how im informing ya
rap was expression, before it was a formula
for conforming ta the norms of trendy
i mourn for those not exposed by the legendary
artists, cuz not it's all heartless,
remember when hip hop was catharsis?
i can, everytime, it takes care of me
licensed, certified, headphone therapy
never leave, i would take evaporate and breathe it
or inject that mic cord intraveinous

To the top?

Lack Thereof

the words never come, its like a shortage//
i stare at blank pages, pen is dormant//
imported, cigarettes and bic lighters//
tryin ta hold on but the more i grip tighter//
the more it slips through fingertips and expires//
its quiet, cept the hum of street sweepers//
permeates through the air, and each speaker//
permanently blares in Hi-Fi Sony, Surround//
songs about missing, my homies, and how//
its only, s'posed to be, lonely, for now//
somehow, i'll get through-it, memories of your influence//
truly manifested in my gestures and my music//
cuz every nuance of my present future past and such
was affected by your life
or lack thereof

To the top?

The Sixth Floor

i perch atop a rooftop, gazin down with glazy irises
sleepless nights and city lights, how deafening the silence is
i reach to find some peace of mind, but came up with empty bottles of
regrets in bitter liquid form, old feelings i had bottled up
i drift again from reflex, daydreams frequent me at nighttime
replay scenes with vivid clarity, caption the movies in my night mind
i start to hear the soundtrack, instrumentals full of violins
piano rifts that drift descrete, a requiem for dying men
i fight again and try to mend but the past has me in vice grips
i think of friendships rendedred lost, and question what is priceless
if i died tonight, my friends, my life, i wonder what i'd miss more
maybe it wasn't such a good idea to live up on the sixth floor.

To the top?